The Other Side of Sanity
by Lord Rekhyt
Summary: When Kurt is diagnosed with a mental illness, he is sent to The McKinley Institute, an old Asylum in Washington. But after meeting a certain honey-eyed man and some new friends, things start looking up again. Klaine, Pinn. Rated M
1. A Brave New World

**Disclaimer:** I'm only going to do this once, here at the beginning: I do NOT own Glee, or anything involving it. I make no profit off of this little story of mine.

**Warnings:** This fic will contain bad language, adult themes, violence, character death, and maleXmale action. If this isn't your kind of thing, this is your chance to leave. Flames will be shrugged off and laughed at. Possible trigger warnings too.

**For BiSciFiGuy**

**You're awesome, dude ;)**

**Chapter 1: ****A Brave New World**

The weather was grey and wet. The deep pine forests surrounding the two large buildings were slightly hazy as Kurt looked out the window and through the rain, his arms folded over his chest. He found it strange that he would find such beauty here, and ironic since the beauty and freedom shown around him was merely an illusion. Not twenty feet into that forest was a high wall and guards patrolling at all hours. It was essentially a prison, of sorts. And he wasn't going to be getting out of it any time soon. He was doomed to this place; surrounded by blindingly white walls and white tiled floors. Immaculately kept potted plants and overly sterile counters and tables. Bright florescent lighting and false smiles.

A slight sigh escaped his lips, his warm breath condensing against the cold window. He always knew he would get out of Lima, Ohio, but he didn't think it would be to this place, in Washington, effectively locked away from the world.

A shadow passed over him, and he tensed up as someone came to stand near his shoulder, his expression becoming icy.

"How are you holding up, dude?" a quiet voice asked him, and he visibly relaxed. It was just his step-brother, Finn. One of the only people in the world that he still trusted and cared about.

"As well as can be expected." Kurt replied in a clipped tone. He hadn't meant to be snippy, but almost everything he said came out that way, and Finn had learned that it wasn't anything personal. "I don't suppose you've come to tell me that the bastard has changed his mind, and is going to take me back home?"

Finn sighed, wrapping an arm around his step-brother's shoulders. "No. I wish they would, though. I don't like leaving you here, Kurt. You've been getting so much better lately, so I don't get why they had to bring you here."

That was a blatant lie, and they both knew it, but Kurt appreciated Finn's attempt to make him feel better. "Yeah. I don't know what I'm going to do without you. You and Mercedes are the only people that keep me calm and feeling like myself. How am I going to cope here?"

A note of pleading desperation crept into Kurt's voice, and his eyes prickled with unshed tears. Finn tightened his grip around him. "You're strong, Kurt. Strongest guy I know. You can make it though. And I'll visit you every chance I get, I promise. I'll bring Mercedes, too."

"I know you will, Finn. I guess…" Kurt's voice trailed off.

"What?" Finn asked, nudging him slightly.

Kurt's gaze dropped to the white tiles, so clean that they all but sparkled, and he had the urge to drop something filthy just so someone would have to clean it.

"I'm scared, Finn. I'm scared of this place."

"I know what you mean, dude." Finn replied, his voice dropping to a whisper. "Like some horror movie, where they're gonna, like, experiment on you. Sort of like Area 51 or something. Maybe they want the secret to your fashion sense!"

Kurt giggled, nudging Finn in the ribs. "I somehow doubt that, Finn."

"I can totally believe it! They'd like, take samples of your blood, trying to see what makes you so good at fashion and music and stuff." Finn replied, his eyes wide. "It's like one big discrepancy!"

"Conspiracy." Kurt corrected absently, his expression becoming icy again and his shoulders tensing. Finn felt his brother's body become stiff and knew that their parents must be approaching them.

"Stay strong, man." He whispered. "Don't let them see that they're hurting you."

Kurt nodded slightly, keeping his eyes focused anywhere but on the bastard.

"You're all booked in." Burt Hummel announced in a falsely cheery tone as he reached the two boys. "You ready for all of this?"

"Drop dead." Was the only response Kurt gave as he inspected his nails calmly.

"Kurt, you know why we –"

"Fuck off."

"Kurt Hummel, I'm still your father." Burt said angrily.

"Go home." Kurt replied. "You don't want to be here, and I certainly don't want you here. If it wasn't for Finn, I'd be praying to the God I don't believe in that you'd crash on your way back to Lima. Just go, _Burt_."

Burt's eyes widened and his chest puffed out as he prepared to yell at his son, but Finn stepped between them. "Let's just go." He said wearily. "Kurt doesn't need this right now. Things are already bad enough without another fight."

Carole, Finn's mother, stepped forward and put a hand on Burt's arm. "He's right, honey. Kurt's stressed enough. Don't say things you're going to regret later."

Burt looked into Carole's pleading eyes, then at Finn's resolute face, then, most painfully, at Kurt's stoic, cold expression. He seemed so devoid of emotion, cold and distant, and it broke Burt's heart.

"You're right." He said, visibly deflating. "Kurt, can I at least give you a hug goodbye?"

When Kurt didn't reply, or even threaten him, Burt took that as permission. It was a small hug, quick and awkward, and Kurt didn't respond. Carole came next, and again he just stood there. Then Finn engulfed him in a lamprey-like hold, and Kurt's arms automatically wrapped around him, clinging to his brother.

"I'm going to miss you, Kurt." Finn muttered into his perfectly coifed hair.

"I'm going to miss you too. Say goodbye to Quinn for me when you see her again." Kurt replied. He didn't really care much for his brother's girlfriend, but as long as she made Finn happy he wasn't hostile toward her.

Burt gestured for someone, and a moment later a curly haired man joined them, smiling at Kurt.

"Kurt, this is Dr Schuester." Burt told him. "He'll take you from here."

"Hello Kurt." The man said kindly. "It's nice to meet you."

Kurt looked him up and down before giving a contemptuous sneer. "Charmed, I'm sure."

Burt and Schuester spoke for a moment, and Kurt ignored them. Then he was watching his family leave, his eyes trained on Finn's hunched, retreating form. One of his only friends. Kurt didn't know how he was going to survive this.

"Are you ready to get settled in?" Schuester asked, his voice sickeningly nice and understanding.

"Whatever." Kurt replied with a deep sigh. "Let's go."

Schuester placed a hand on Kurt's shoulder gently and steered him passed the large, white, sterile reception desk and it's horrible, perfectly kept potted plant. They approached a large pair of glass doors that slid open for them as they neared, and Kurt sighed once more. This was it. He was trapped.

"Welcome to the McKinley Institute, Mr Hummel." Schuester said.

The McKinley Institute. That was the new name. A few decades ago, they weren't so careful with their wording, and it was known as the Washington Mental Asylum for the Insane. Personally, Kurt preferred the old name.

Call a spade a spade. If he was going to be insane, he'd at least like to be called insane.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

His room was as bad as he had expected it to be. It wasn't the same, blinding pure white as the rest of the walls he'd seen thus far, rather an ivory sort of color, but he hated it anyway. He decided that, if he managed to spot any tins of paint that were _not _white, he'd steal it wand throw it at one of the walls simply to add a splash of color to the room. Kurt snickered inwardly at the joke he had just made while he assessed the rest of the room. There was a simple brown bookcase that was built into the wall, and a brown closet that was definitely too small for Kurt's vast collection of clothing. Admittedly, he hadn't brought that much with him, but Finn had promised to bring some of his clothing with each time he made the trip to see him, so he'd have to find somewhere to stow the clothing. The bed was a single, with a pure white blanket and pillow.

_Thank Gaga they suggested I bring my own bedding. _He thought to himself as he pulled the bedding off, throwing it in a pile in the corner of the room. His blankets were for a queen sized bed, but he would rather have oversized blankets than the sterile white.

His bags had been checked, of course, when they had sent them up two days ago, as per the rules. They were thoroughly inspected for drugs, weapons, alcohol, or anything that could be considered dangerous. Once his blankets were on the bed, he added three pillows and reached for his bags again. He extracted some photos from inside a book, since he hadn't been allowed to keep the frames, and began sticking them to the wall. The first was a picture of himself and Mercedes, from when they were in high school. The next was a candid shot of himself and Mercedes talking at a party, their hands in the air and their mouths open wide as they passionately spoke about whatever they were discussing that night. Next was a picture of Kurt and Finn that Carole had taken. She had snapped it at the perfect time: just as Kurt rubbed his temples in frustration while Finn excitedly blathered on about something. A few more pictures went up on the wall, until there was only one photo left. This one he stuck on the wall above his pillow. It was a picture that Mercedes' father had taken a few days before he had left. Another candid, it showed Finn, Quinn, and Mercedes all hugging Kurt simultaneously while Kurt smiled. He had known it was the last time he'd see them all together at the same time, and for the first time in a long time since his problems had started, he had felt something. He had felt sad and lost, but he was trying to put on a brave face for their sakes.

With a sigh, Kurt stepped back and turned to his bags once more, unpacking the rest of the personal belongings he had brought.

The next day was his first appointment with the psychologist that specialized in sociopathic disorders. Dr Figgins was an unattractive man. His eastern accent was infuriating, and he had no dress sense. Kurt tried his best not to look at the man as they spoke.

"Now Mr Hummel," Figgins began, "it says here in your file that you're nineteen years old, and that your problems first began around a year and a half ago."

"Yeas, that's about right." Kurt replied in a disinterested manner as he looked around the room. His eyes landed on the pot plant near the window and narrowed in dislike. He found himself gaining a newfound hatred for the things.

"The previous psychologist that your father sent you to diagnosed you with mild schizophrenia, but he also stated that that was not the only problem."

This was news to Kurt. Finally giving the man his full attention, he raised a curious eyebrow.

"Oh? What else is wrong with me, then?"

Figgins scanned the notes on his lap for a moment before replying. "He diagnosed you with a form of Hypomania, which is what leads to you feeling irritable most of the time. Also, he says that you have a mild case of Bipolar, as well as Depersonalization Disorder."

"Bipolar I know." Kurt replied, remembering the last fight he'd had with his father. After the argument, he had slashed his father's tires and broken his windscreen in a sudden fit of rage. "But what was that last one? Depersonalization something…"

"Depersonalization Disorder." Figgins repeated. "It's a mental disorder that makes you feel either emotionally or physically detached. Sometimes both. Can you relate to that feeling?"

"Detached…" Kurt mused to himself. Yes, that was how he felt most of the time. He felt no connection to the people around him, and often didn't feel much in the way of emotion. When he did feel emotion he felt almost normal again, but it never lasted, and he would soon be back to faking smiles and laughs.

Figgins noticed the look in Kurt's eyes. "I see that you understand what I'm talking about here."

"Yes, I do." Kurt replied. "Anything else?"

Figgins chuckled at the file in his hands. "Apparently you have a superiority complex as well, but only as a defence mechanism."

Kurt raised an eyebrow, glaring condescendingly at the man, who smirked. It took Kurt a moment to realize that he was doing exactly what the file said, and he knew he was caught. He lowered his gaze, and his posture slumped slightly.

"Yeah…" he mumbled.

"It's alright, Kurt." Figgins said. "If that helps you, then its fine. One day you'll have to learn to control that urge, but for now it's alright to keep your defences up."

Unwillingly, Kurt found himself liking the man.

"I'd suggest not using it in here," Figgins continued, "since we both know its fake, but that's what gets you through the day and keeps you sane, then you should continue until you have a better grip on yourself."

Kurt snorted loudly. "Keeps me sane, Doc? Really?" he asked archly.

"Bad choice of words, maybe." Figgins said with a smile.

After another half an hour, Kurt was told that he could return to his room or explore the Institute. Not really wanting to meet any new people, he decided almost immediately to head to his room, but while he walked down the insanely clean hallways he had a chance encounter with another patient.

Chance encounter was a mild way to put it. The reality was that he was knocked off of his feet as he tried to turn a corner when someone coming from the other direction ran straight into him.

Landing hard on the ground, Kurt jarred his wrist and cursed loudly as he heard the other person groan in pain. Looking up, he found himself looking at an Asian boy roughly his own age. The Asian guy noticed him too and smiled brightly.

"Hi!" he greeted with breathless enthusiasm. "I'm Mike Chang! Who are you? Hey, are you new here? What are you in for? You must be a bit loopy, if you're here, but there's something else too, right? Because that what this place is for, right? We all have a lot of problems, and most of us are totally insane, which is actually pretty cool when you think about it because it's more fun to be around people that are like you, don't you agree? I mean, it'd be boring if we were around normal people all the time, who can't understand us. It's like being in a whacky cartoon. Hey! Speaking of cartoons, what your favourite cartoon? I love Tom and Jerry, it's hilarious. So where are you from? What's your name?"

Kurt just stared at the boy, Mike, in bewilderment. His mouth and brain seemed to work at a mile a minute, and while he normally found chatty people utterly irritating he couldn't help but find the boy's enthusiasm slightly endearing.

"There you are, Mikey." A new voice said, sounding exasperated.

Mike turned around and grinned, if possible, even more widely. "Dave! There's a new guy here! And how come you aren't in therapy? Isn't it time for you to be with Dr Beiste? I wonder where she is. Did you escape? Oh, I bet you did!"

Ignoring Mike, Dave turned to Kurt. "Hey, I'm Dave." He greeted.

"Kurt." Kurt responded shortly, still fixated on Mike. He was actually starting to worry if he might be having a seizure or something.

Following his stare, Dave grinned. "Don't worry, he's always like this. He's got Euphoric Hypomania, so he's _always _happy. And he's got a severe case of ADHD, so he's got the attention span of a gnat as well as being permanently hyper."

Kurt frowned as he processed this while Mike continued to babble, seemingly unconcerned that no one was listening. "How does he –"

"They sedate him." Dave replied before Kurt could finish. Kurt glared at him, and Dave shrugged. "Everyone always asks that."

"Asks what?" Kurt asked with a haughty expression.

"How Mike gets to sleep."

Kurt huffed, not willing to admit that it was indeed what he was going to ask.

"Hypomania, you say? He asked instead. "Figgins said that I have Hypomania as well, but a kind that makes me irritable."

Dave nodded. "Anyway, I'd better get Mikey here down to the cafeteria before he forgets that he actually needs to eat. Hey, do you wanna come with? You can meet some of the others."

Kurt shook his head. "No thanks. I have unpacking to do." Dave shrugged nonchalantly and turned back to Mike.

"Race you to the cafeteria." He said, and that was all it took before Mike was careening down the hallway at breakneck speed. Dave laughed, gave Kurt a parting wave, and followed after the boy. Kurt shook his head, a slight smile on his lips, and headed for his room. He passed by several other patients, none of whom spoke to him. He was still reeling from his encounter with Mike and his incredibly active mouth when he came across another patient that stopped him.

"Hey there." A tall male greeted with a sly smile. "You're new here, aren't you?"

"What's it to you?" Kurt shot back, instantly dislike this guy. He practically oozed arrogance, and for some inexplicable reason his face strongly reminded Kurt of a meerkat.

"Oh, feisty." The guy said with what Kurt assumed was meant to be a seductive look. If meerkats could look seductive, that is. "I'm Sebastian Smythe. And you are?"

"Leaving." Kurt said, stepping around the boy and continuing down the corridor. He dodged the various staff that were doing things along his way, and occasionally took the opportunity glance into people's rooms as he passed them. Most had been made more personal, displaying that they intended to be staying here for a while. The walls were often painted to suit them, and they had a more 'lived in' look, almost cosy. Kurt began to worry. He knew that he would be spending more than a few weeks in this place, but he didn't realize how permanent of a residence this became for a lot of the patients. He would have to talk to Figgins during his next session and try to figure out the time frame for his stay. Finally reaching his room, he threw himself on his bed and stared up at his roof. The excuse he had given Dave had been fake, of course. He had finished unpacking before his appointment with Figgins. He wanted to be alone, not mixed in with all the crazy people.

He snorted. _I _AM_ one of the crazy people. _He thought to himself. Still, he wasn't ready to go and meet new people just yet. For now, he just wanted to be alone.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was approaching dinner time, and Kurt's stomach was growling. He didn't want to have to go to the cafeteria, though. He wanted to stay as far away from everyone else as he could, even if Dave and Mike had seemed likable. That other one, the meerkat, was a not likable at all, though.

Kurt just wanted to go home, mental illnesses be damned. He didn't care if he couldn't function in society. He didn't care that he couldn't make friends, or find a boyfriend. He just wanted to be alone in his bedroom, and not some mental ward in Washington.

There was a knock at his door. Growling to himself, he got up off of the bed and dragged his feet toward the door, fully intending to tell whoever was bothering him to get lost. When he opened the door, though, he found himself looking at a young, pretty nurse with long blonde hair and an infectious smile.

"Hi there." She greeted, offering a hand. Kurt shook her hand gingerly, unsure what the nurse wanted.

"Er, hi…"

"Dr Schuester asked me to keep an eye on you, and help you get to the cafeteria for dinner." She told him. "I'm Nurse Holliday, but you can call me Holly."

Kurt cursed inwardly. "Um, could I have a minute to get dressed? Sweatpants and an oversized jersey isn't really dinner material."

Holly scoffed, taking his hand and practically dragging him into the brightly lit hallway and shutting his door behind him.

"This isn't fashion week in Paris. Trust me, you're dressed appropriately. In fact, we occasionally need to enforce the rule that clothing needs to be worn at all down there."

Kurt blanched at that, the idea of eating dinner with a group of naked Neanderthals terrifying him.

"Don't worry." Holly reassured him as they entered an elevator and descended to the ground floor. "It doesn't happen often, and usually only with one or two of the patients."

"Okay…" Kurt whispered, his voice higher than usual.

When they reached the doors leading to the cafeteria, Kurt began to panic. It was like his first day in high school all over again, except that this time the bullies really _were _psychotic. It was going to be _exactly _like his first day of high school. He would walk in, get his food, sit alone in the corner of the room, and be ridiculed. The most he could hope for was that he could get out quickly.

"It'll be okay." Holly told him, giving him a slight nudge. "Just go for it."

Kurt sighed and placed his hands on the doors, pushing them open.

Inside the large room were roughly fifty or so patients and a handful of staff to monitor them. Paintings adorned the walls, and there was more color to the room than the hallways.

No one looked up when he opened the door, so Kurt quietly slipped into the line to receive his dinner. He felt awkward and his stomach was in knots. He was on the verge of turning on his heel and heading back to his room when someone tapped his shoulder, making him tense up instantly.

He spun to face the offender, his mouth open and ready to let loose a string of insults, when he found himself looking at Dave. The caught on the tip of his tongue, and he quickly snapped his jaw shut, opting to give the other guy a questioning look.

"Hi Kurt." Dave said casually. "I know you're new here, so I was wondering if you'd like to join Mike and me at our table. It sucks to sit alone, even here."

"What makes you think I'd be sitting alone?" Kurt asked with an arched eyebrow, but his mind went off on another track. _Shit Kurt, why'd you say that? The only person that's being nice to you, and you mouth off like a bitch? Great start, there._

Dave's expression faltered. "Oh, um, sorry. I didn't know you had someone else to sit with. I'm sorry, I'll leave you alone."

As he turned to leave, Kurt sighed and looked at his feet. He was about to apologize when the lady that was dishing up their food asked for his tray, and by the time he looked back Dave was already gone. He a heartfelt sigh he took his tray back, thanked the serving lady, and meandered off to find a table. As he moved through the room, he expected someone to yell and call him names, like high school, but no one seemed to be paying much attention to him. In fact, the few times he dared to look someone in the eye he found that while their stares weren't openly friendly they were far from hostile. Eventually he found an empty table next to a large, leafy pot-plant. Glaring at the offending shrubbery, Kurt took a seat and began pushing his food around with his plastic fork. When he dared to look up again, he saw Dave look at him from across the room, and immediately dropped his gaze back to his plate. He scooped up a forkful of mashed potato and stuck it in his mouth, surprised to find that the food wasn't half bad. Pushing the meat to one side, he ate the mashed potato and the vegetables before standing up and taking his tray back to the serving counter. He thanked them again and walked out of the cafeteria, heading back up to his room. He felt like a complete loser, having to eat alone. Now he missed Finn and Mercedes more than ever. Hell, he'd even take Quinn.

_I didn't realize just how bad I am at making friends._ He thought miserably. _This place is going to be total torture._

When he reached his room, he turned the bedside lamp on and switched the main light off, grabbing a book and curling up under the covers. He flipped thought the pages until he found where he had last left off and let himself fall into the book's world, letting reality fade away into the background. Someone must have come to check up on him at some point, because when he woke up a few hours later needing the bathroom, his bedside lamp was off and his book was resting on the table with a blank piece of paper marking where he was.

"I hate this place." Kurt muttered as he climbed back under his blankets and closed his eyes once more.

_**~XoXoX~**_


	2. Friends

**Chapter 2: Friends**

Two days had passed since Kurt's arrival at the McKinley Institute, and so far he had barely had any contact with anyone that wasn't a member of the staff. Dr Figgins told Kurt that he should try to make friends, but Kurt knew it wasn't that easy. Nurse Holliday was always nice to him, probably sensing how vulnerable he felt, but there was only so much she could do. He had also started therapy with Dr Schuester, and found himself thoroughly disliking the man. He had a rather narrow view of the world, and often steered the conversation towards himself. In fact, Kurt suspected that he probably knew more about the doctor than vice-versa at this point. Including his failing marriage, and his illicit affair with the pharmacist, Ms Pillsbury.

Meal times were the worst. Three times a day, he found himself sitting by the hateful pot plant, all alone, and wishing he hadn't been so rude to Dave on his first day. There was one person that continued to irritate him, however. The meerkat had tried to talk to him in the halls again, but Kurt had made a point of ignoring him and not feeling bad about it. Something about that guy smelled funny. And faintly of Craigslist.

Walking back from an appointment with Schuester, Kurt glanced up at a clock on the wall, an ugly piece of work with rectangular white frame. It was nearing one in the afternoon, when they generally had lunch. He was seriously considering forgoing it today and heading back to his room when he heard someone approaching at a run from around the corner he was preparing to turn. Before he could comprehend what was happening, a body collided with him, much like what had happened on his first day, and he found himself sprawled out on the cold white tiles. Placing a hand on the spotless floor, he hoisted himself up and brushed off his red skinny jeans. Looking down at the floor, he found Mike shaking his head, as though he was trying to comprehend what had just happened.

"Mike? Are you alright?"

At the sound of his voice, Mike's face split into a smile again and he beamed at Kurt.

_Oh no…_

"New guy! Hey! Hi! Kurt, right? How are you? I haven't seen you around. How come? You aren't avoiding us, right? You wouldn't do that. Of course, I don't really know you, so I shouldn't assume things, but then, you don't really know us either, so why would you avoid us? I don't think you would, but maybe I'm wrong. I hope not, though. Or do I hope so? Wait, I'm confused… What do I want?"

Mike winced slightly, and touched his temples lightly, breathing out a faint, pitiful "ow".

Kurt found himself laughing. "No, Mike, I'm not avoiding you."

"Then why don't you sit with us at mealtimes?" Mike asked, his eyes focused intently on Kurt again. "You always sit alone, and you're always giving that plant angry looks. Why? Are you allergic to it? If you're allergic to it you shouldn't sit there, it seems silly to make it worse, don't you agree? Why aren't you going downstairs for lunch?"

Mike paused, seemingly expecting an answer for once, and Kurt instantly felt bad. "I, er, didn't notice that it was lunch time. I'll head to the cafeteria now."

"Great! You can come sit with us today! That's okay, right?"

"I don't know, Mike…" Kurt replied uncertainly, thinking of his rude dismissal of Dave.

"Then it's settled!" Mike stated obliviously, not listening to a word Kurt said. "You'll sit with us today!"

He grabbed his hand and started running down the hall again, dragging a very confused Kurt behind him.

When they had arrived in the cafeteria, Kurt took on a whole new level of uncomfortable.

"I'm not sure about this, Mike." He said softly, absently picking at the black shirt he was wearing. Dave was already sitting at the table, dressed in ragged jeans and a rugby shirt, along with a three other guys, and he was giving them look that was both quizzical and faintly amused.

"Don't worry Kurt, these guys are great and they'll love you, I'm sure. Just give it a shot, okay? Okay? Cool!"

Rolling his eyes, Kurt let himself be steered to the tacky linoleum table and forced onto the hard plastic bench.

"Hey Kurt." Dave greeted, barely concealing the laugh in his voice. "Fancy meeting you here."

Kurt shot him a jokingly scathing look. "Blame Mike's enthusiasm." He said, then gave a tentative smile. "Hey Dave."

Dave laughed lightly. The other guys at the table looked between Kurt, Dave and Mike in confusion, silently asking for an introduction.

Dave grinned at his friends. "Guys, this is Kurt, he's new to McKinley."

"Hey Kurt." A blonde guy with a large mouth greeted timidly. "I'm Sam."

"Puck." The next guy said, reaching out to shake his hand. He made Kurt think of a Greek God of some sort; he was tall, muscular, and tanned. Though Kurt was fairly certain that no one in the Greek Pantheon had a Mohawk.

Next to Puck was a guy with dark hair and thick glasses, who was dressed in what Kurt would call 'hideous old person clothes'. At first glance Kurt didn't notice anything out of the ordinary about him, but a moment later he saw the wheelchair.

"Artie." He said distantly, like he didn't want to be there.

Puck nudged Artie and gestured for him to smile, but Artie flipped him off and looked away.

"And that's Ryder." Dave said, a little quieter, pointing to a fourth boy that Kurt hadn't seen. He used the word boy correctly, since it was obvious he was only in his mind teens. He sat staring out of the window with a curiously blank expression, as if he didn't seem to know or even care where he was.

"Is he okay?" Kurt asked, leaning closer to Sam so he could speak quietly. Sam flinched initially, but then leaned too.

"He's got amnesia." Sam whispered quietly to him. "But not the normal kind."

"He was in an accident about four months ago." Dave told him, also using a quiet tone. "His head took a really rough hit. He has Retrograde Amnesia, so he can't remember his past at all."

"That's terrible." Kurt said sympathetically.

"That's not the worst part." Puck said. "He's also got what's called Anterograde Amnesia."

Kurt frowned in a questioning manner.

"He can't retain new memories for long periods of time." Dave explained. "A few hours at most, sometimes a full day, but then it's like his mind gets wiped clear again."

Kurt gasped, a true feeling of horror coming over him. "Oh my God…"

"We keep an eye out for the kid as much as we can, try to keep him safe. One of the only things he retains is that he's in a mental hospital because of his memory, which is lucky because it would suck to keep explaining that one." Puck told him. He then narrowed in eyes in interest as he looked at Kurt. "So, what's your story, dude?"

Kurt immediately riled up, ready to let loose a scorching insult, but was spared that by Mike, who was bouncing excitedly in his seat.

"Hey guys, where's Blaine? I just realized that I couldn't smell raspberry hair gel."

"That's the least I've ever heard him say." Kurt murmured to no one in particular, but everyone laughed.

"Yeah, Mikey talks enough for all of us, most of the time." Dave said, "But the ADHD also lets him get distracted for long enough for the rest of us to speak occasionally."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "So who is Blaine?"

"Blaine's the last member of our group." Sam told him. "But I haven't seen him today. Have you guys?"

Puck scratched the back of his neck, his eyes downcast. "He's on lockdown." He mumbled. "He slipped up last night."

Dave and Sam groaned, and Artie shook his head. Seeing that Kurt was, once again, out of his depth, Artie elaborated.

"Blaine, like me, has a case of Clinical Depression. A slip up means he either started cutting himself, or he tried to kill himself last night."

Kurt's eyes widened. Honestly, he should have expected something like this, considering where he was, but it was still new to him.

"Blaine's depression isn't usually all that bad." Dave said. "He's mainly here for other reasons. But once in a while this sort of thing happens."

"Normally this happens to me." Artie stated bitterly.

Kurt closed his eyes momentarily and pressed his slender fingertips to his temples.

"So, um, what's for lunch today." Dave asked with a pointed look at Kurt. The others caught on and changed the topic to lighter things. Soon after, Sam, Puck and Dave went to go and fetch lunch for everyone, which was apparently a ritual the group had of taking turns in smaller groups rather than have all of them standing in line at the same time. Mike turned to Kurt and gave him a small smile.

"It's not so bad here, Kurt." He said in a normal tone. "You'll see. And you'll like Blaine; he's really nice."

"Thanks Mike." Kurt said, honestly grateful for the Asian boy's words.

"Yeah, sorry about unloading all that heavy stuff in front of you when you're not used to this place yet." Artie apologized. "But Mike's right, it really isn't so bad here. And who knows, you might be one of the people that actually have a chance of getting out of here eventually."

Kurt was saved from having to reply when Ryder muttered something, immediately drawing Artie's attention.

Kurt's eyes wandered the cafeteria and landed on the meerkat, Sebastian, who was sitting three tables away by himself and staring straight at him.

When Dave, Sam and Puck returned, Kurt decided he'd better ask some questions.

"What's up with that smirky little meerkat?" he asked, flicking his head in Sebastian's direction. They all looked around very obviously, and Sebastian winked at Kurt, knowing that he was talking about him.

"Sebastian Smythe." Sam said. "Piece of work, that one."

Puck, looking at the ceiling rather than at Kurt, expanded on that. "He's got Erotomania, so he firmly believes that _everyone _wants him, and coupled with excessive Hypersexuality –"

"He's _always _horny." Sam chipped in.

" – he's always on the prowl for someone to sleep with. They should have made him board with the girls."

"How would that help?" Kurt asked, missing the obvious answer.

"He's gay." Dave replied. "He wouldn't bother them like he bothers us."

Kurt immediately bristled at the comment. "You have a problem with gay people?"

"Not at all." Sam said quietly. "A bunch of the guys here are at least bisexual, like Puck."

Puck nodded, and laughed at the shocked look on Kurt's face at that revelation.

"Oh, okay…" Kurt muttered. "It's just, well, I'm gay."

"We know." Mike stated cheerfully. "Dave said it's obvious, and Puck said his gaydar went off. Hey Sammy, what's gaydar?"

Artie chuckled as Kurt, Dave and Puck all blushed.

"I didn't mean any offence." Dave mumbled to Kurt, while Sam tried to explain gaydar to their hyper friend.

"Don't worry." Kurt assured him, trying to keep a firm grip on his irritability. "I know I'm kind of blatant about it. And my high voice is a dead giveaway."

"Well at least you aren't alone." Artie said. "Puck plays for both teams, and Blaine's gay too. And I suppose there's always Sebastian. What did you call him?"

Kurt shuddered at that thought. "The meerkat. He looks like a freaking meerkat."

"Don't worry; no one is all that fond of the meerkat." Puck told him.

Kurt ate his lunch in silence after that, listening to the others talk and trying to get to know them, as well as figure out what was wrong with them. When lunch was over, Dave invited Kurt to go with them to the rec room to watch a movie.

"Sure, I've just got to run up to my room first." Kurt replied. "I'll meet you there."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Leaving his room, Kurt immediately realized his mistake; he had no idea where the rec room was. Having avoided everyone since he had arrived, he hadn't had the need to go the recreation room before.

"Hello again, mystery man." An oily voice said from nearby. Kurt turned and saw Sebastian leaning against a wall and giving him bedroom eyes and a knowing leer.

"Meerkat." Kurt greeted with a vague nod. Sebastian grinned at the nickname and took a step closer to him.

"You look like a lost lamb." He said.

Kurt scowled and ignored him, looking for one of the information boards. They usually had maps on them for newer patients, according to Holly.

"You know, you could always come to my room with me. I'd take good care of you."

Sebastian was suddenly far too close, invading Kurt's personal space and slipping an arm around his waist.

"Get lost Sebastian." Kurt snapped at him, pushing Sebastian's arm away. Sebastian merely smiled and grabbed the front of Kurt's designer shirt, pulling him forward until their chests were pressed together. Kurt glanced around, but the corridor was deserted. Sebastian's mouth pressed against Kurt's in a firm kiss, and Kurt was in shock. When Sebastian's tongue traced along his bottom lip, however, Kurt found himself opening his mouth and allowing their tongues to slide against one another. That is, until he felt Sebastian's erection pressed against his thigh. Kurt came to his senses and pulled away from him.

"I'm sorry, that shouldn't have happened." He apologized.

"I don't see why you're apologizing." Sebastian stated, making no effort to hide his erection. "I kissed you, remember?"

Kurt shrugged. "I've got to go."

"I'll show you the way." Sebastian said. He walked past Kurt and stopped to look back. "You wanted to get to the rec room, right? Follow me."

Kurt wasn't sure if it was wise to follow Sebastian anywhere, but he trailed along behind him anyway.

"How old are you?" Kurt asked, trying to seem polite.

"Seventeen." Sebastian replied. "How are old are _you_? And you still haven't told me your name."

"I'm nineteen." Kurt told him. "And my name is Kurt."

Nothing more was said until they were nearing a pair of doors from which a lot of noise was coming.

"Here we are." Sebastian said. "Have fun."

With that he patted Kurt on the shoulder, then gripped his backside and gave it a firm squeeze.

"Damn…" Sebastian hissed, his eyes rolling back in his head a little.

Kurt slapped his hand away, glaring. "Fucking meerkat."

Kurt walked into the room, hoping that Sebastian wouldn't follow, and luckily his wish was granted. The room was large and brightly colored with mismatched couches and cushions. Along one of the beige walls were large glass windows and a few doors, leading to other, smaller rooms that each had their own television. Through one of the windows, Kurt spotted Puck's Mohawk, so he headed in that direction. He walked over and stood on the fringe of the group while they argued what movie they wanted to watch.

"Blaine's not here, so we are _not _watching anything Disney." Dave stated.

"Fine, how about an action movie?" Artie asked.

"Like what?" Dave countered. "They don't exactly leave the violent movies lying around here, on the off chance it triggers someone, and we didn't put a request in for something good."

"Put Step Up in!" Mike begged as he bounced up and down on the balls of his feet.

"We watched that yesterday." Sam muttered, going through a stack of DVDs.

"What do you think, Kurt?" Puck asked.

"Trust me, you don't want my opinion." Kurt replied with a laugh.

"Tell us tell us tell us tell us!" Mike exclaimed, grabbing Kurt's hand and holding it tightly. His grin was wide and infectious, and Kurt found that he couldn't say no to him.

"Fine. I like Rom-coms."

Dave, Sam and Artie crinkled their noses in distaste, while Puck's eyes lit up slightly.

"Rom-com!" Mike yelled. Kurt had the feeling that he could have suggested staring at the wall and it would have excited Mike.

"I'll make you a deal." Dave said. "We'll do a rom-com next time if we can watch an action today."

Kurt shrugged, surprised they'd even consider it. "Alright, deal."

"Dude!" Sam suddenly said, acting a lot less introverted. "Spiderman 3!"

Kurt rolled his eyes and prepared himself for two hours of having his brain melted, but in all honesty he enjoyed his time spent there, sitting between Puck and Sam. He wasn't sure if he was actually a part of their group of friends, but he found the prospect oddly pleasant so he vowed to not screw this up.

He while the movie played, he had a whispered conversation with Puck, trying to find out more about them. It turned out that they were all different ages, with Puck being the eldest at twenty-four, and Ryder being the youngest at sixteen. Mike and Sam were both eighteen, while Artie was seventeen. And the absent boy, Blaine, was twenty-two. Puck didn't want to tell him the reasons that each of them were there, stating that it wasn't his place to tell, and Kurt respected that. Puck did tell him about himself, though.

His full name was Noah Puckerman, and he had Impulse Control Disorder, meaning that he almost always acted on the first thought he had, which led to a lot of trouble, and he lacked a conscience most of the time. He also had incredibly low self-esteem, and was a pyromaniac. He tried to prove that immediately by pulling a lighter out of his pocket and searching for something to torch, but Dave had seen and had quickly grabbed the lighter.

"Where'd you get that?" Dave asked, pocketing the lighter.

"That hockey guy, Rick, told me to steal one." Puck said proudly, but then his smile faltered. "Was it a bad idea?"

"Very bad." Dave said. "If you got caught, you'd be in big trouble."

"Don't make any crazy suggestions to him." Sam whispered from Kurt's other side. "He'll do it without thinking, part of the impulse control."

Mike nodded from behind Sam. "Yep, that's true. Poor Pucky gets into trouble a lot because he just does things."

"Not totally true.' Puck muttered, his face going red as he stared down at the carpet, his fingers digging into the sides of his dark-wash jeans.

"Is too." Mike countered. "I dare you to kiss Sammy, or are you chicken?"

Puck's eyebrow twitched and he moved in front of Sam, grabbing his face and kissing him straight on the lips. Sam spluttered, pulling away from Puck, but he glared at Mike.

"Mike!" Dave chastised. "Not cool man. You know Puck can't stop himself. It's not cool to screw with each other's problems like that!"

Kurt noticed that Sam was shaking heavily, like he was in shock. "Sam, are you okay?"

"No, I'm not!" he yelled, getting to his feet and storming from the room.

"Way to go, Mike." Artie said in a bitchy tone, shaking his head. "Kurt, Sam has an Avoidant Personality disorder. He doesn't like people in general, and he hates to be touched. It took a long time for him to become comfortable enough around us. So please excuse his yelling."

"I'm sorry." Mike said softly, all of his hyper activity gone. "I'll go say sorry to Sammy."

"I'll go with you." Puck said as he got to his feet along with Mike, sounding remorseful. "Fuck, I shouldn't have done that."

"It isn't your fault, Puck." Dave reassured him, patting him on the back.

As Mike and Puck left the room, Kurt stood up and stretched, glancing at the screen for a second before yawning. "Well, I guess that's it for the movie then."

"Guess so." Artie said. "Dave, will you get Ryder to his room?"

"Yeah, sure man." Dave said, moving to Ryder, who was asleep on a bright pink bean bag.

"Hey, Ryder, wake up little dude."

Ryder's eyes fluttered open. "Who are you?" he asked in a groggy, confused voice.

"It's me, Dave." Dave said, and Kurt wondered how often they had had this exact conversation. "You know me, buddy. Come on, let's get you to your room. You wanna read a book?"

Ryder smiled softly and nodded, allowing Dave to help him to his feet and walking off with him.

Kurt stared after them with a saddened expression, pity for Ryder building in his chest.

"We do what we can." Artie said simply as he wheeled past him. "Anyway, I'll see you at dinner. I need a drink."

"They let you drink here?" Kurt asked absently, his mind still on Ryder.

"Only in special cases." Artie replied bitterly. "See ya.'

With that, Kurt found himself alone.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Back in his room, Kurt stretched out across his bed and groaned. It was nearing time for his daily appointment with Dr Schuester, and he wasn't in the mood to go. He buried his face in his pillow in the semi darkness of the room, having only turned the bedside lamp on. There was a light tap on his door, and he groaned again loudly, assuming that it was Nurse Holliday come to escort him again. It seemed that the doctors had realized from the get-go that Kurt wouldn't always show up to appointments if he didn't feel like it, and it fell to the nurses to get him there.

"Hey Kurt…" a familiar oily voice drifted in through the door.

Kurt's head snapped up and he glared at Sebastian, who at that moment entered the room and shut the door behind him.

"So Kurt," he said. "We should pick up where we left off this afternoon."

"I don't think so, meerkat." Kurt replied dismissively. "I'm not interested."

"Your lips said something else earlier." Sebastian countered.

"That was a mistake, and it's not likely to happen again. I've heard all about you; you try to sleep with every guy you come across."

Sebastian shrugged. "So? You might as well have some fun too. Don't be the only one left out. Hell, I've even slept with some of the staff members."

Kurt's jaw dropped. "Are you serious?"

Sebastian nodded, tracing his fingertips along Kurt's bookshelf slowly as he moved closer.

"That's close enough, Sebastian." Kurt stated. "I'm not going to sleep with you, so you might as well give up. You got a kiss out of me, and that's all you'll ever get."

Annoyance flickered across Sebastian's face, but a second later it was gone. "If that's the case, can I have one last kiss?"

Kurt eyed him distastefully, and Sebastian must have taken his silence as approval because a moment later he was chest to chest with Kurt again. Once again, Kurt could feel Sebastian's erection against his leg. Before he could protest, Kurt's mouth was covered by Sebastian's, and their tongues were sliding against one another. Sebastian moaned into the kiss and rocked his hips slightly, trying to get some friction for his dick. He gripped Kurt's hips and gave a hard thrust, moaning louder, and Kurt pulled away quickly.

"That was more than a kiss." Kurt pointed out a little breathlessly.

Sebastian sighed and stepped back. "I'm sorry. I can't really help myself."

"I think you should go." Kurt all but whispered. Surprisingly, Sebastian complied and left without argument.

"Fucking meerkat." Kurt mumbled, making sure his clothing wasn't rumpled. He felt slightly violated, but he had to admit that the meerkat could kiss.

A moment later, Nurse Holliday came knocking on his door. "Ready for your appointment with Schuester?" she asked.

"As I'll ever be." Kurt mumbled, following her out into the overly bright hallway.

_**~XoXoX~**_

AN: Reviews are appreciated ^_^


	3. Sam's Secret

**Chapter 3: Sam's Secret**

Kurt woke up late the next morning, having smashed his alarm clock a little too forcefully the first time it went off. Clearly broken, it was now destined for the garbage can. Kurt rubbed his face, which felt smooth for the first time since arriving at McKinley. Finn had sent him a letter, and a parcel containing his moisturizers. After going through a million people, it was deemed safe, and Kurt had immediately delved into it.

Sliding into a pair of tight black jeans, he searched his bags for a suitable shirt and jacket. He settled on a tight fitting light blue shirt and dark cardigan, then grabbed his shoes and forced them onto his feet before tackling his hair. It took fifteen minutes and plenty hairspray before he decided it was good enough, and by that point he was definitely late for breakfast. Last night at dinner, his new friends had told him that they usually had breakfast early because once it got cold it got fairly disgusting, which Kurt could attest to.

When he reached the cafeteria, he saw them sitting at their usual table and eating their breakfast, so Kurt groaned and stepped into the line behind a shorter guy with dark hair. He caught Dave's eye and waved, to which Dave smiled and nodded in his direction. Going over his schedule for the day, Kurt remembered that he had an early appointment with Figgins today to discuss medication and activities. Medication was usually given out during mealtimes, except for those who had special times that they had to take their medication, and so far Kurt had been able to skip that.

Some people, like Dave, benefited from their medication. Dave had severe bipolar that made him highly aggressive, but his medication helped him a great deal. Then there were cases like Mike, where the medication did absolutely nothing. Then there were cases like Sam and Ryder, where there was no medication to help them. Sam was in an intensive therapy to help him overcome his sociopathic behaviour, but so far it wasn't working. Ryder was in several kinds of therapy to try to either recover his past memories or help him retain new ones. Rumors were flying that they were considering electro-therapy, but it was unlikely that it was true. Sam did receive medication at night, though, which made Kurt think that there was another thing wrong with the blonde.

His senses were suddenly hit by a strong smell of raspberry, interrupting his train of thought. The scent seemed to be coming from the shorter boy in front of him. Kurt leaned forward surreptitiously and sniffed the loosely gelled curls. Yes, raspberry hair gel. And there was a bandage on his left arm, likely concealing cuts.

"Excuse me," he said, tapping the boy on the shoulder, "but are you Blaine?"

The boy turned around, and Kurt found himself staring into a pair of bright, honey colored eyes that held him transfixed.

"Yeah, I'm Blaine…" the guy trailed off. "And you are?"

"Kurt." He said, offering a hand.

"So you're the Kurt that Mike told me about, huh?" Blaine asked with a smile, arching one of his triangular eyebrows.

"Mike told you about me?" Kurt asked somewhat shyly. Blaine's smile seemed to be doing strange things to his stomach and legs.

"It came up, along with about fifty other things." Blaine said with a laugh, and Kurt's legs actually buckled. Blaine caught him, staring into his eyes.

"You okay, Kurt?" he asked seriously. Kurt just nodded as he stood up straight again, his face flushed red with embarrassment.

_God damn it! I'm making a total fool of myself! What's wrong with me?_

They had reached the front of the queue, and Blaine turned to the serving lady. Kurt's eyes were instantly drawn to Blaine's backside.

_Holy mother of Prada…_

"What are you having, Kurt?" Blaine asked. Kurt mouthed something silently, then shook his head and tried again.

"Just a fruit salad please." He requested in a high, shaky voice. He turned to the table where his friends were, hoping to catch someone's eye. Puck looked up and raised a hand in greeting, and Kurt immediately mouthed 'Help me'. Puck's expression became confused, but he immediately got up and crossed over to them.

"Hey Blaine." He greeted with a smile. "Hey Kurt. Kurt, can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure thing." Kurt murmured weakly.

"You're sitting with us, right?" Blaine asked. When Kurt nodded, he smiled. "Alright, I'll take your fruit thing to the table for you."

Kurt smiled his thanks and walked off with Puck.

"Dude, what's up?" he asked. "Mike's gonna steal my poptarts."

"Blaine…" Kurt said breathlessly. He glanced behind Puck, watching as Blaine crossed the cafeteria to their table."

Puck sniggered at him. "You're hot for Blainers, huh? Can't say I'm surprised, really."

"I just made an ass out of myself in front of him." Kurt said stiffly. "I can barely talk to the guy."

Puck nodded. "He has that effect. But Blaine is taken, anyway."

Kurt felt like his heart just dropped out of his chest. "I – well I guess that will help. It makes it easier, knowing that."

Puck nodded. "He's with one of the shrinks."

"What!?" Kurt exclaimed, and Puck clapped a hand over the younger man's mouth.

"Quiet, Princess." Puck growled. "No one can know."

Kurt nodded, and Puck removed his hand. "A doctor?"

"One of the ones upstairs, specializes in anger-management, I think. His name is Jeremiah."

Puck looked around and, with a yell, ran toward the table just as Mike stole one of his poptarts. Kurt followed behind him, sighing to himself.

_Get a grip, Hummel. _He told himself. _This is a mental hospital, not a fairytale. You don't meet the man of your dreams in the psycho ward._

But then again, apparently Blaine had. And Sebastian did on a regular basis. Why couldn't he?

"You okay, Kurty?" Mike asked as he sat down in front of his fruit salad, which happened to be next to Blaine.

"I'm fine." Kurt said with a smile. "And Kurty?"

"He does that." Blaine explained, smiling brightly. "Everyone at this table has their Mike Chang approved name. Pucky, Sammy, Davey, Blainey, and now Kurty."

"You left out Artie and Ryder." Kurt pointed out in a lower tone, biting into a forkful of melon.

"They have different names." Blaine explained. "Smartie for Artie, and Ryderkins for Ryder. Not that he responds to it."

The sadness in his voice was obvious, and Kurt patted his hand sympathetically.

"I heard that you guys take turns looking after him." He said. "I'd like to sign up for that as well."

Blaine gave him yet another smile (_does this boy ever stop smiling?_) and nodded. "We'll show you the ropes, Kurty."

Sam was sitting next to Ryder, talking to him in a soft voice and making sure he was eating. When Ryder placed a hand on top of Sam's, he noticed that Sam didn't flinch away from him.

He opened his mouth to point that out to Blaine or Dave, but was interrupted by the orderly coming around to their table to hand out medication.

"Mr. Hummel," he said after making sure each person swallowed their pills. "Don't forget your appointment with Figgins so we can start your prescription as well."

Kurt nodded vaguely, inspecting his nails in a show of indifference. When the man continued to look at him, Kurt arched an eyebrow, and the man grunted and left.

"Idiot." Kurt muttered.

"Hey, what day of the week is it?" Mike asked. "It's Friday, right? I hope it's Friday. I want it to be weekend so badly."

"It's Friday, Mikey." Dave told him. "You can see Tina tomorrow."

"Tina?" Kurt asked, having totally forgotten about Sam and Ryder.

"On the weekends, we get to see the girls, from the building next door to ours." Puck explained. "You wouldn't believe the amount of sex that goes on around here over the weekends; it's amazing that people don't turn up pregnant."

Kurt laughed, but from the look on both Dave and Blaine's faces Puck was telling the truth.

"And the doctors allow this?" Kurt asked incredulously. Puck shrugged. "Not officially. It's frowned on, and if they catch you there's punishment, but mostly they look the other way and let us do it. That's why the rec room has condom dispensers, and apparently the girls can request the morning after pill with their morning meds. They understand that we have urges and needs, and that there's not much they can do about it."

"This is insane." Kurt mumbled, and Blaine laughed.

"I know you are but what am I?" he chuckled. "Nice choice of words Kurt." He turned to the others with a broad grin. "I like this one, let's keep him."

Kurt blushed to the roots of his hair, and his stomach did a little backflip at those words. Puck smirked at him from across the table, and Kurt kicked him in the shins in retaliation.

"So, you were telling me about Tina?" Kurt reminded them, crossing his arms and trying to regain his composure.

"Tina is Mike's sort-of girlfriend." Blaine told him. Kurt was starting to felt uncomfortable. Blaine had singlehandedly taken over explaining everything to him, their conversation barely included anyone else. Only Puck interjected, trying to help Kurt.

"She's a nice girl," Blaine continued, "but she's a compulsive liar. And she has a lot of phobias, assuming that she's not lying about those."

"Dude, you've seen the way she screams when she sees a spider. That wasn't fake."

"True. Still, aside from the lies she's a sweet girl." Blaine conceded.

"Oh god, he's gonna meet Rachel!" Puck said with a wicked laugh.

Blaine laughed too. "Never mind Rachel. What about Santana?!"

Kurt's eyebrow shot up again. "Shall I leave so you guys can continue your conversation like I'm not here?"

"Sorry Kurt." Blaine apologized, putting an arm around his shoulders. Kurt's face went red instantly, and his eyes were as wide as saucers. Puck saw and quickly engaged Blaine in conversation, but his arm remained where it was until Kurt had to get up and head for his appointment.

"See you at lunch Kurt." Blaine said with a wide smile.

"Bye Kurty!" Mike exclaimed, jumping up and hugging him tightly.

Kurt decided that invading personal boundaries could go on both Blaine and Mike's lists of disorders.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Figgins' office was nice. It had a soft, fluffy brown carpet, light mahogany bookshelves surrounding the room, and dark blue chairs. The curtains matched the chairs perfectly, and it was airy and bright. Then, just to ruin everything, there was a pot plant.

After Figgins had discussed his medication with him, not that Kurt had paid much attention, he placed a pile of pamphlets on the polished oak table between them.

"Due to the nature of this facility," Figgins said, "we have a number of activities and groups to keep our patients busy. Those pamphlets will give you an idea of what we have here, and you can choose which you wish to be involved with."

Kurt nodded. "What do you mean, by the nature of the facility?"

Figgins gave him a grave look. "I mean that a large amount of our patients are either long-term or permanent."

Kurt began to hyperventilate a little at that. "And what am I?"

"We don't know yet." The doctor replied. "But to be honest, I don't think you'll be able to go home any time soon. I'm very sorry, Kurt."

Kurt shook his head, willing his tears away. "Great, so I might spend the rest of my life here? Wonderful."

"It isn't that bad." Figgins said softly. "A number of the friends you have made are permanent patients here, or at least long term. So you won't be alone." Kurt raised his face, a slight glimmer of hope dancing behind his glasz eyes, and Figgins continued. "Mike Chang is a permanent resident here. As are Blaine Anderson and Noah Puckerman. Dave Karofsky is a long-term patient, but he will most likely leave eventually, as will Artie Abrams. Depending on treatments, Sam Evans may be permanent as well."

Kurt nodded. It was morbidly reassuring to know that he wouldn't be alone at McKinley.

"Back to the matter at hand. You have to participate in minimum of three of the groups there. Physical training is mandatory once a week, but there is also an athletics club for sports if you enjoy physical activities. Football, hockey, cheerleading, things like that."

"I might do cheerleading." Kurt mused out loud. "If you let guys join. But I'd really like something musical."

"There are several band groups, specializing in certain kinds of music. We also have an opera group, and our own Glee club. Though none of our sports or groups are allowed to leave here to go compete."

Kurt's eyes had brightened considerably. "A Glee club? I'll definitely join that one! When do I need to decide on everything?"

"You can hand in your choices to the nurses' station on your floor by three this afternoon."

Kurt nodded and rose to his feet. "Thanks doc."

He left Figgins' office in a reasonably good mood, whistling under his breath as he clutched his pamphlets. He pushed the button for the elevator, and when the doors slid open he sighed in exasperation.

"Well if it isn't Old Betty White." Sebastian said with a sneer.

"Meerkat." Kurt replied in acknowledgement.

"I saw you were making eyes at Blaine in the cafeteria." Sebastian said, bitterness lacing his voice.

"Are you delusional or something?" Kurt asked, trying to dissuade the boy. "I thought you were here for Meerkat Syndrome."

"And why are you here?" Sebastian snapped back, obviously riled. "That gay face of yours?"

Kurt smirked at him. "Yesterday you were fairly interested in this gay face of mine, I recall."

"Which makes you yesterday's news."

"Well, my parents taught me to leave bad things in the past after all."

Sebastian growled at him, but the doors opened and Kurt stepped out of the elevator.

"Good luck with Blaine, Kurt." Sebastian said in a falsely good-natured tone.

"Good luck washing the smell of Craigslist off." Kurt replied airily, not bothering to look back as he walked away. Reaching his room, he dropped his pile of pamphlets onto his bed and began to read them. About an hour later there was a knock on his door, and Kurt immediately tensed. So far the only people to visit him had been Nurse Holliday and the meerkat, and he doubted that Ms. Holliday would come around for a social call. Opening the door, he was fully prepared to tell Sebastian to fuck off, but he found himself looking at Sam instead.

"Hey Kurt." Sam said quietly. "Mind if I hang out for a while?"

"Sure, of course." Kurt replied, stepping to the side and allowing Sam into his room. "Aren't you looking after Ryder today?"

Sam shrugged. He crossed over to a small plastic chair and sat down. "Ryder has therapy until lunch time, so I just have to pick him up and take him to the cafeteria. I see you're choosing your activities. Need some help?"

"That would be appreciated." Kurt said gratefully. "I have no clue what I want to do, except for the Glee club."

"You sing?" Sam asked, perking up.

"Yeah, I was in my high school Glee club too. I loved it."

"I'm in the McKinley Glee club." Sam said with a huge grin. "So are Blaine and Puck. Mike was going to join, but you can't really understand when he sings…"

Kurt laughed at the thought of Mike trying to sing, knowing he'd belt out the words at high speeds like did with his normal speech.

"What else do you do?"

"I'm on the football team." Sam said. "And the swim team. What have you been considering?"

Kurt frowned. "Well, Glee is a given, and I was considering trying out for cheerleading."

"Blaine does cheerleading." Sam told him. "So do Brittany and Santana. You'll meet them tomorrow."

"Oh, ah, awesome." Kurt stated. So far, both of his choices would involve Blaine. "What would you suggest as a third choice?"

"You don't look like the type to do football…" Sam mused, and Kurt shuddered. "And I doubt you'd want to join the swim team with Mike, Blaine and I…"

Kurt very nearly signed up for the swim team right there and then.

"I saw that there's a drama club as well." He said instead.

"Oh yeah, they're pretty cool." Sam told him. "Blaine would appreciate the company there, since he's the only one of our group there."

Kurt couldn't help it. He face-palmed.

"Something wrong?" Sam asked in concern. He moved slightly forward on his chair, as if to comfort Kurt, but didn't get too close.

"No, I'm fine." Kurt said, smiling. "Hey Sam, can I ask you a personal question. I mean, if you don't want to answer you don't have to, but I'm really curious."

Sam looked hesitant, but he nodded.

"Okay, so I know you don't like to be touched, but this morning I saw Ryder touch you and you didn't so much as bat an eyelid. Why is that?"

Sam's face went red, and he mumbled something vague.

"It's okay, Sam." Kurt reassured him. "You don't have to tell me. I should learn to mind my own business."

Sam shook his head. "Remember how I told you that a bunch of the guys are bisexual?"

Kurt nodded, waiting for Sam to continue, but when he didn't realization dawned on him. "Oh! So, you're…?"

Sam shrugged, his eyes downcast. "Only for him. I don't know why. He's only a kid, and it's not like he ever remembers who I am. But…"

"You're drawn to him." Kurt said, understanding. "So do the others know?"

Sam shook his head. "No, I haven't told them. This place has taken away almost everything from me. My life, my old friends, my family, my privacy… I at least want one thing that's my own. This secret."

Kurt's eyes welled up with tears. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pried."

"No, no, it actually feels good to tell someone." Sam said with a light chuckle. "Someone other than Ryder, that is."

"Wait, you told Ryder?"

Sam nodded, blushing again. "I thought he was asleep. I was running my fingers through his hair, and I was talking to him, and I confessed. The next thing I know, his eyes open and he's looking at me sadly, and he tells me that he wishes he could remember me tomorrow, because it was the sweetest thing anyone's said to him. Then he kissed me. The next morning he'd forgotten everything, of course…"

Now Kurt was really crying in earnest. He moved forward to give Sam a hug, but froze when Sam tensed up, letting his arms drop to his sides instead. "I'm so sorry Sam."

"It's okay. Who knows, maybe one day his memory will come back."

Kurt changed the topic to lighter things, and Sam relaxed visibly as they spoke. At one point Sebastian stopped by and asked if Sam was the reason he had refused his advances. Both Kurt and Sam denied that, and Sebastian immediately started trying to instigate a three-some, until they kicked him out of the room and slammed the door in his face.

"Stupid meerkat." Sam muttered with a shake of his head. Kurt giggled, finding it amusing that his nickname for the oversexed bastard was catching on.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kurt went with Sam to pick up Ryder after they dropped his activity decisions off at the nurses' station. Sam told him that the therapist always reminded the younger boy that one of his friends would fetch him and look after him. True to his word, Ryder seemed to trust them immediately, smiling at them shyly before quietly asking what their names were. Kurt watched Sam's face carefully, but he didn't let his pain show for even a second as he re-introduced himself to his crush. Kurt followed suit, and the three walked toward the cafeteria together.

Kurt threw himself down onto a chair and buried his face in his hands. Puck, Sam and Artie went to go fetch lunch, leaving Kurt with Mike, Dave and Ryder.

"You okay, Kurt?" Ryder asked in his quiet voice. Kurt nodded at him, giving a crooked smile that he had adopted from his step-brother.

"I'm just a bit tired." Kurt said.

Blaine nudged Kurt. "I hear you're going to audition for Glee."

Kurt looked at him archly. "News travels fast here. But yes, I want to try out for the Glee club."

"Are you any good?" Blaine challenged, but Kurt could see he was kidding. It surprised him that he didn't even get irritated in the slightest.

"Now that's a loaded question." Kurt said. A second later, he realized exactly _what _he had just said, and his face went red.

Blaine merely laughed and let it slide without comment, but he kept glancing sideways at Kurt, making his blush intensify.

"When is Glee practice?" Kurt asked Sam after he returned with the food.

"Right after lunch." Sam replied. "So it's a good thing we dropped your stuff off with the nurses."

"I can't wait to hear you sing.' Blaine stated. "You have a very unique voice."

"Um, thanks?" Kurt said uncertainly.

"Yes, that was a compliment." Blaine said with a laugh, toying with one of his curls. It was utterly adorable, and Kurt found himself staring at Blaine helplessly until Puck kicked him under the table. He shot Puck a look that was somehow both grateful and menacing, before eating the last of his chicken sandwich.

"So what are you going to sing for your audition?" Puck asked.

"That depends." Kurt replied, "Do I need to do a full song, or just a piece?"

"Just a piece. Usually a chorus. Then Dr. Schuester will be able to tell if you can sing or not. He'll check your vocal range some other time."

"Schuester? The one that's so insane over that pharmacist?"

Puck grinned. "That's the one."

"Well, I have just the piece." Kurt said with a rueful smile.

Standing in front of the relatively small glee club, in a small yet acoustically suited room, it was the first time Kurt had seen girls that weren't a part of the staff in a while.

"Whenever you're ready, Kurt." Schuester said with a smile.

As he hadn't had time to prepare music, Kurt had to imagine the tune in his mind. He tapped out a beat with his foot before looking dead ahead and starting to sing.

"_Wasting away, the world's right in front of me_

_Funny you should say that it's all in my head._

_Wasting away, I've hit rock bottom and,_

_Going down in flames, well it's not that bad."_

It was short, sweet, and ironically appropriate. The Glee club, particularly his friends, clapped for him, and Schuester welcomed him to their ranks automatically. With a smile, Kurt sat between Blaine and Sam on the benches, making sure to leave some space around Sam.

"Well, let's get to working on a new number, guys." Schuester said with a grin.

"If he makes us sing a love ballad to Ms. Pillsbury, I'm quitting." Kurt mumbled, making Blaine laugh.

_**~XoXoX~**_


End file.
